Sharing God's goodness and inspirations in my life

Fighting for Depression

Hello my loves, how are you? let me share my journey on my fight and struggles towards depression.

2 years ago after giving birth of my second child, things change, I keep on struggling on getting back into my routine which is busy from work dance and doing things that I love. I wanted to dance, serve in music ministry, serve in missions and so on. It's kind of rough road for me, I'm in denial that I need to concentrate on my kids rather than focusing on my career. I miss the busy life. I was skeptical of things, what I'm going to do and how things would work though. Everything becomes shady and my love to dance was compromised with responsibilities. I need to focus with my kids and set side my passion. I'm not a home buddy person so it's a big adjustment for me but don't get me wrong I love my kids. There comes the word depression sinks in when I can't dance or even teach dance because I still have small kids to attend to. I was not able to travel eventually I felt that my world stopped and being chained. I tried to find another work that would fit with my schedule, but none of it works. It keeps me depressed all the more. By the time I'm writing this, I'm staying at home, taking care of my kids, the corporate world is gone, dancing is gone. I can't even meet with my friends because of my current situation. Before that, I asked my husband if he could resign from work because as of that time I think I'm having bigger pay than him, but he insisted that I should resign instead. So I resigned. Here in our place it's hard to find a nanny for kids, I do have a lot of horrible experiences, like things will be missing, our kids got sick because of improper handling, so that's why we came up with a decision that one of us must resign and should take care of our kids. So as mentioned I'm the one who resigned. As days past as a busy person transitioned to a home buddy really depressed me. That's the main reason why I started to make videos on youtube. I told myself I need to keep my mind busy, so I created content for women teaching tips and tricks about makeup. I have some dance gigs, like handling company dance contest, occasionally, because I can't accept job offers in a massive way because I need to be with my kids. So eventually I decided last year December That I need to quit choreography works and it really broke my heart to the fullest because I love dancing so much. I just can't help it creating steps is what I really love. This seems to be a small thing to some but for me, giving up your passion and what you love doing is not an easy thing. It's just something died inside me! char!!!! For me, dancing is my world before. I still dance and create steps if I'm inspired to, but not really into handling groups, maybe I could be a consultant but not really taking the action. One more thing that depresses me is that, before me and my husband decided to stop drinking alcoholic drinks but right now it seems that he forgot about that promise and it add up to my depression and that would be another post. So how I fight depression

First, immerse yourself with prayer, pray because sometimes if were depressed a lot of things will come up in our mind horrible things. Pray for enlightenment and inner peace. To calm your mind and heart. Try to get inspired by the word of God. Always remember that God is listening even if He's silent.

Second, do what you love, for me, I love dancing since childhood, one more thing that I really love is creating things, so I focused on video editing, I'm still learning though, I'm  trying to save for a  good filming camera. Making beauty videos as of the moment using my Sony Xperia Z1, One on my wishlist is a good camera (Canon 70D, 80D, EOS line M10, M3 and so forth, Panasonic Lumix G7, Panasonic GH4 and GH5)

Third, I kept myself busy with improving my blog, aside from vlogging I also blog and tried to incorporate my youtube videos to my blog. I tried to make a post once a week.

Fourth, trying to grow my social media accounts, though it's not necessary but for me, it keeps me busy, so that's good.

Fifth, I keep my mind busy with creative ideas. tried to make it possible, making DIY at home. 

Sixth. I always kept in my mind that I'm with my kids and it's a great blessing to see them grow.

Seven I have a loving husband who always supports me on all my crazy ideas, hahaha!!!! He is always my number one fan. I always make sure that He will be the first person to watch my video before uploading, haahah silly me.

Eight, since I'm immersing myself to blogging, I tried to attend events in Cebu which I'm super blessed to get invited.

Ninth, I pursue my passion of makeup by accepting clients for bridal makeup and any occasions, but not on an everyday basis. 

Number 10, I teach English online from 6 pm to 12 midnight. 

So our current set-up with my husband right now is, depending on my husband schedule as well. Usually, his job will end at 3 PM, by the time when he arrives, it's an exchange of role, When he's at work I'll be taking care of our kids and when he comes home he will replace me and that's the time I will teach online. On my gigs case like makeup and attending events. I have clients I need to inform him one month or 1 week prior to my gigs so that he could also adjust his schedule. It's kind of give and take process. but that's not the end of the story.  My husband got exhausted sometimes and he told me that's its really the time to get a new nanny because my schedule is getting hectic. We're still on a hunt for a good one though. 

One of the things I realized is depression is not a small thing, if you're caught on guard and you will succumb to it, it will eat you up and you're done. If depression strikes divert your mind to things that make you happy and battle it with good things.

Here are some words that I will leave to you to ponder.

They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength,
they will soar on eagles’ wings;
They will run and not grow weary,
walk and not grow faint
Isaiah 40:31

This poor soul cried, and was heard by the Lord, and was saved from every trouble.
Psalm 34:6

Thank you for dropping by, Godbless you
Be an overcomer!!!!!!

Best regards,

We will triumph with the help of God who will trample down all our foes.(Psalm 108:14)

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